Liar, Liar…

A phrase more commonly known to some in a slightly different fashion.

Situation. Enhancer. If you’re judgmentally thinking that by some I’m referring to yours truly, then you’ve judged correctly. Congratulations.

But let’s face it. We’ve all been there. And if you think you’re the exception to the rule – don’t. Ever lied about being late to work? Or told a cop you didn’t know you were speeding? Or tell your 4 year old nephew that Santa Clause is watching him through the window from a secret spot in the bushes to make sure he eats all of his veggies – in October? Anyone else on the Santa/Veggie thing? Nope, just me? Mkay.

I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say we’re all in good, dishonest company here. And in the words of the great Chandler Bing: “Your check’s in the mail!” “Your baby’s so cute!” “I can’t wait to read your book, Ross!”

The idea for this post actually manipulated its way into my little noggin last night while I was enjoying a run (to be lying)… a walk in my neighborhood. Anyone living in the good ole US of A knows that over the last several weeks, the West Nile virus has caused some serious havoc in my sweet, sweet homeland – Dallas, TX. With aerial defense being chosen as the next measure taken toward destroying this more than pesky problem, I was curious as to what time and when these planes were to start their spraying routine. As I turned back down my street at the tail end of my walk, I stopped to ask a man who was carrying his child on his shoulders if he knew when the insecticides would unload in our neighborhood.

Now… keep in mind that the side of Dallas I live on is the East Side. Most of the residents on this side of town are extremely warm and welcoming – not nearly as stuffy as other parts of the Big D. Well apparently, this guy was lost. Like – lost, lost. Two-miles-too-far-to-the-South-East-lost, if you’re keeping up with the memory map.

So after watching him nervously clutch his child as if there was some slight chance I may flip that kidnapper switch I didn’t know I had and plop his 3 year old daughter in the back of my nonexistent blackout van, he decided to answer my question. “I don’t think I know anything about that. I can’t help you.” Then he swiftly turned around proceeded in the opposite direction – daughter in tow. As I, myself, widened the distance between us by going on about my own business, I started feeling as if I had somehow burdened this man with my inquisitiveness. Hanging on to what last bit of couth I had left, I turned right back around and shouted to the man that was now about 2 blocks away. “I’m sorry for bothering you, sir! I just didn’t know if I had to let my dog in the house tonight!” Situation. Enhancer.

And there it was. I stood there with flushed cheeks watching a complete stranger and what is probably his sane-minded off-spring walk into the distance. Completely unaware that I don’t own a dog.

Whatever happens to my brain during that 10 second window between “conversation should be over” and “let’s make up some crap”, the world will never know. Honestly? White lies, I think, are what make the world work! Imagine what life would be like without them. Ever seen The Invention of Lying? I rest my case. Happy Friday y’all!!!

Breast wishes-

Amy

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